Thursday, August 18, 2016

Who am I?

Compliments of one of the nicest employees that I've had the pleasure to work with, Mr. Bob Schlag. This reminded me of my favorite Dr. Seuss children's books, Are You My Mother?

It seems that lately my life has been getting more complicated, and I want to thank those of you who are brave enough to still associate with me regardless of what I have become.

The following is a recap of my current identity:
  • I was born white, which makes me a racist.
  • I am a fiscal and moral conservative, which makes me a fascist.
  • I am heterosexual, which makes me a homophobic.
  • I am non-union, which makes me a traitor to the working class and an ally of big business.
  • I am not a Muslim, which makes me an infidel.
  • I am older than 50, which makes me a useless old person.
  • I think and I reason; therefore I doubt much that the main stream media tells me, which makes me a reactionary.
  • I am proud of my heritage and our inclusive American culture, which makes me a xenophobe.
  • I value my safety and that of my family; therefore I appreciate the police and the legal system, which makes me a right-wing extremist.
  • I believe in hard work, fair play, and fair compensation according to each individual's merits, which makes me anti-social.
  • I, and my friends, acquired a good education without student loans and no debt at graduation, which makes me some kind of odd underachiever.
  • I believe in the defense and protection of the homeland by all citizens, which makes me a militarist.
Please help me come to terms with this, because I‘m not sure who I am anymore!
  • Newest problem – Now I'm not even sure which bathroom I should use.

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