A doctor was explaining to an Uninformed Voter how nature adjusts for certain physical disabilities.
“For example, if a man is blind, he develops a keen sense of hearing and touch. If he’s stone deaf, he develops other senses.”
“I know what you mean,” said the Uninformed Voter. “I’ve noticed that if someone has one short leg, then the other one is always a bit longer.”
Not today....
Stacey Abrams is driving around Atlanta, she gets off on an Interstate 285 exit to find food (of course). Gets lost and finally stops at a rural grocery, and asks
"How do I get back to 285"?
Elderly grocery owner looks her over closely and finally asks...
Have you tried diet and exercise?
Thus ends today's lesson in irony.
😛
A tourist walked into a Chinese curio shop in San Francisco. While looking around at the exotic merchandise, he noticed a very lifelike, life-sized, bronze statue of a rat. It had no price tag but was so incredibly striking the tourist decided he must have it.
Not as good as the Rotten Johnny joke, but definitely amusing, to some.
He took it to the old shop owner and asked, "How much for the bronze rat?"
"Ahhh, you have chosen wisely! It is $12 for the rat and $100 for the story," said the wise old Chinaman.
The tourist quickly pulled out twelve dollars. "I'll just take the rat, you can keep the story".
As he walked down the street carrying his bronze rat, the tourist noticed that a few real rats had crawled out of the alleys and sewers and had begun following him down the street. This was a bit disconcerting so he began walking faster.
A couple of blocks later he looked behind him and saw to his horror the herd of rats behind him had grown to hundreds, and they began squealing. Sweating now, the tourist began to trot toward San Francisco Bay.
Again, after a couple of blocks, he looked around only to discover that the rats now numbered in the MILLIONS, and were squealing and coming toward him faster and faster.
Terrified, he ran to the edge of the Bay and threw the bronze rat as far as he could into the Bay.
Amazingly, the millions of rats all jumped into the Bay after the bronze rat and were all drowned.
The man walked back to the curio shop in Chinatown.
"Ahhh," said the owner, "You come back for story?"
The tourist said, “No, I just wanted to know if you had a Bronze Democrat.”
A woman stopped by, unannounced, at her son's house. She knocked on the door then immediately walked in. She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked. Soft music was playing, and the aroma of perfume filled the room.
"What are you doing?!" she asked.
"I'm waiting for Mike to come home from work," the daughter-in- law answered.
"But you're naked!" the mother-in-law exclaimed.
"This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law explained.
"Love dress? But you're naked!”
"Mike loves me and wants me to wear this dress," she explained." It excites him to no end. Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours on end. He can't get enough of me”!
The mother-in-law left.
When she got home, she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and lay on the couch, waiting for her husband to arrive. Finally, her husband came home. He walked in and saw her lying there so provocatively...
"What are you doing?" he asked.
"This is my love dress," she whispered sensually.
"Needs ironing," he said. "What's for dinner?
He never heard the gunshot.
South Park Puts NBA to Shame, Says ‘F*** the Chinese Government’I had understood that Adam Silver was gay, but after reading his bio at Wikipedia must admit to being mistaken. After seeing the NBA cancel games and expel fans who held up mildly worded posters decrying the actions of the Chinese in Hong Kong, I am convinced that Adam Silver is simply a capitalist posing as woke.
The author meant "braves" to be funny, so I will dispense with the obvious comments.Bernie Sanders braves crowds for a corn dog
