Friday, August 26, 2016

Three Kings

Little Johnny was sitting in class when the teacher asked him...
“Can you tell me the name of three great kings who have brought happiness and joy into people’s lives?”
To which little John replied...
“Smo-king, Drin-king and Fuc-king”

Put it Where?

The mortician calls Mrs. Smith, and says,
“Excuse me Mrs. Smith, but I can’t seem to close the lid to your husband’s coffin due to his enormous erection.”
To which she replies,
“Why don’t you cut it off and stick it up his ass? That’s the only hole in town it hasn’t been in.”

THWG

Football season is about to start and I just can't help myself.
The shirt is for real, can be ordered at Amazon.


What Difference Does It Make

Hillary Clinton goes to a gifted-student primary school in New York to talk about the world.
After her talk she offers question time.
One little boy puts up his hand. Hillary asks him what his name is.
"Kenneth," he says.
"And what is your question, Kenneth ?" she asks.
"I have three questions," he says.
"First, whatever happened in Benghazi ?"
"Second, why would you run for president if you are not capable of handling two e-mail accounts?"
"And third, whatever happened to the missing six billion dollars while you were secretary of state?"

Just then the bell rings for recess.
Hillary informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess.

When they resume Hillary says,
"Okay, where were we ? Oh, that's right, question time. Who has a question ?"
A different boy, Little Johnny, puts his hand up.
Hillary points to him and asks him what his name is.
"Johnny," he says.
"And what is your question, Johnny ?" she asks.
"I have five questions," he says.
"First, whatever happened in Benghazi?"
"Second, why would you run for president if you are not capable of handling two e-mail accounts?"
"Third, whatever happened to the missing six billion dollars while you were secretary of state?"
"Fourth, why did the recess bell go off 20 minutes early ?"
"And, fifth, where's Kenneth ?"

Tuesday, August 23, 2016

Polygamy Ban Blocked Muslim Immigration

A 100+ year old issue in the United States.

How America's Polygamy Ban Blocked Muslim Immigration

Daniel Greenfield, proprietor of Sultan Knish summarizes well with the statement...
A century ago and more, the nation had leaders who were not willing to dwell in the twilight of illusions, but who grappled with problems when they saw them. They saw civilization as fragile and vulnerable. They understood that the failure to address a conflict would mean a loss to the “enemies of civilization”. 
I have little doubt that in the bowels of government, there are people grappling with real problems, but the public facade of government seems obsessed  obscuring what is dangerous and what is not.

Red Herring issues abound...
  • Arguments about what he minimum wage should be, when deduction shows that higher wages and the shallow end of the skill pool, leads to less employment.
  • Arguments about levels of legal immigration, while the border stands porous, a victim of intentional neglect.
  • Arguments over bathroom access, when in the end people will go where they have to, that is assuming the need overwhelms the desire to preen.
  • Arguments over health care insurance, a tougher issue, but every person knows that government delivery systems, outside of checks being mailed, are the worst. Government intrusion will make health care worse, for all, sinking to the lowest common denominator.
  • Global warming, a doubtful premise prima facie, conceptually I have no problem with engineering to maintain or lower heat generation, but pragmatic decisions on how that should affect the economy and industry should be left to anything but a governmental body. 
The current issues abound, in the end few of them will matter, but all obscure lurking catastrophes such as religious war, fiscal depression and loss of constitutional freedoms.

Monday, August 22, 2016

CBS News Deletes Poll Story

Found this little article via BadBlue.
CBS News Deletes Poll Story Crediting Trump for 5+ Point Lead in Pennsylvania; Mysteriously Vanished
A little more digging through the comments, reveals a copy found on the internet.
Archive
The deleted story says that Donald Trump is leading in Pennsylvania polls by 5 points, this is a critical state for the Republican candidate.
So much of this is the result of imprecise opinion, events misunderstood by readers reaching for proof of conspiracy.
That said, the network media is fighting for the Democrats can be accepted as fact, prima facie.
There are many reports floating about that Hillary is even in the polls in my state of Georgia. While I do live in a small world, evidence of this as fact is not plainly evident.

Vernon's Funeral

Vernon works hard at the Phone Company but spends two nights each week bowling, and plays golf every Saturday.
His wife thinks he's pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club.
The doorman at the club greets them and says, "Hey, Vern! How ya doing?"
His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before.
"Oh no," says Vern.”He's in my bowling league..."
When they are seated, a waitress asks Vern if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser.
His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, “How did she know that you drink Budweiser?"
“I recognize her, she's the waitress from the golf club. I always have a Bud at the end of the 1st nine, honey."
A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Vern, starts to rub herself all over him and says...
"Hi Vern. Want your usual table dance, big boy?"
Vern's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.
Vern follows and spots her getting into a cab.
Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her.
Vern tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it.
She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every 4 letter word in the book..
The cabby turns around and says,
'Geez Vern, you picked up a real bitch this time.'

VERN'S FUNERAL WILL BE FRIDAY AT 2:00 PM

Thursday, August 18, 2016

Who am I?

Compliments of one of the nicest employees that I've had the pleasure to work with, Mr. Bob Schlag. This reminded me of my favorite Dr. Seuss children's books, Are You My Mother?

It seems that lately my life has been getting more complicated, and I want to thank those of you who are brave enough to still associate with me regardless of what I have become.

The following is a recap of my current identity:
  • I was born white, which makes me a racist.
  • I am a fiscal and moral conservative, which makes me a fascist.
  • I am heterosexual, which makes me a homophobic.
  • I am non-union, which makes me a traitor to the working class and an ally of big business.
  • I am not a Muslim, which makes me an infidel.
  • I am older than 50, which makes me a useless old person.
  • I think and I reason; therefore I doubt much that the main stream media tells me, which makes me a reactionary.
  • I am proud of my heritage and our inclusive American culture, which makes me a xenophobe.
  • I value my safety and that of my family; therefore I appreciate the police and the legal system, which makes me a right-wing extremist.
  • I believe in hard work, fair play, and fair compensation according to each individual's merits, which makes me anti-social.
  • I, and my friends, acquired a good education without student loans and no debt at graduation, which makes me some kind of odd underachiever.
  • I believe in the defense and protection of the homeland by all citizens, which makes me a militarist.
Please help me come to terms with this, because I‘m not sure who I am anymore!
  • Newest problem – Now I'm not even sure which bathroom I should use.