I saw Mariah Carey once
at the airport in Atlanta, she ain't that skinny, and mean as a snake looking
to boot...
Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving
kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny
like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff.
Mariah
Carey
What do you expect from
the poor girl, the question is pretty damned stupid in the first place.
Question: If you could live forever, would you
and why? Answer: I would not live forever, because we should not live forever,
because if we were supposed to live forever; then we would live forever, but we
cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever.
Miss
Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest
I hate this pompous
little fucker...
Researchers have discovered that chocolate
produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers
also discovered other similarities between the two, but can't remember what
they are.
Matt
Lauer
On
NBC's Today show
Great moments in New
York politics...
I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail
to comply with the law.
David
Dinkins,
New
York City Mayor
Answering
accusations that he failed to pay his taxes.
I think that at this
point she had a future playing lesbians on television...
Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a
very important part of your life.
Brooke
Shields
Spokesperson
for a federal anti-smoking campaign.
My neighbor is a die
hard Kentucky basketball fan, even he would have to admit that Winston might be
a cigarette or two short of a full pack....
I've never had major knee surgery on any other
part of my body.
Winston
Bennett
University
of Kentucky basketball forward
Great moments in DC
politics...
Outside of the killings, Washington has one of
the lowest crime rates in the country.
Mayor
Marion Barry
Great moments in
Illinois bureaucracy...
Beginning in February 1976 your assistance
benefits will be discontinued.
Reason: it has been reported to our office that you expired on January 1, 1976.
Reason: it has been reported to our office that you expired on January 1, 1976.
Letter
from the Illinois Department of Public Aid
Great moments in Federal
politics...
Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's
history.this century's history. We all lived in this century. I didn't live in
this 20th century.
Dan
Quayle,
Indiana
Senator
If only Obama's little
terrier Rahm Emanual has heard this said Chicago legislation may have been
advanced even closer autocratic unconstitutionality...
Rotarians, be patriotic! Learn to shoot yourself.
Chicago
Rotary Club journal, "Gyrator"
Great moments in the
city of brotherly love...
The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It's only
the people who make them unsafe.
Frank
Rizzo
Ex-police
chief and mayor of Philadelphia
This man has the
ear of the President...
I've always thought that underpopulated countries
in Africa are vastly under-polluted.
Lawrence
Summers
Chief
economist of the World Bank
Explaining
why we should export toxic wastes to Third World countries
After finding no persons
qualified, I appoint, a politician...
After finding no qualified candidates for the
position of principal, the school board is extremely pleased to announce the
appointment of David Steele to the post.
Philip
Streifer
Superintendent
of Schools
Barrington,
Rhode Island
You used to see Dizzy
Dean charcoal for sale, wonder what happened to that. This surely was said as
playful provocation, fits the man's character....
The doctors X-rayed my head and found nothing.
Dizzy
Dean
Explaining
how he felt after being hit on the head by a ball in the 1934 World Series
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