Frenchman Dives In

The actual headline reads...

High-speed train toilet attempts to eat Frenchman

And the subtitle reads...

Arm trapped in satanic sucking dunny.

The story is short, a Frenchman dropped something called a mobe into the toilet and when he reached in to retrieve a mobe, the man managed to get his arm stuck.
I picture the little man wearing a black beret, horizontally stripped jersey without a collar, and having a skinny mustache, one arm stuck in the head and the other waving an impromptu flag of white toilet paper in embarrassed surrender.
On a cultural aside, it seems the Brits have many names for the toilet.
With a little research it I've found that a mobe is slang for mobile phone, or in our culture, a cell phone.
Hang around you'll learn a lot, if you don't know very much.

Woman Says Husband's Brain Missing

If you go to the link the full title reads..

N.Y. Woman Says Husband's Brain Missing, Illegally Used for Medical Research

To read a little farther explains that the husband is in fact, dead. It seems that the body was accidentally taken from the office of the Suffolk County Medical Examiner and used for medical research. The widower seeks $4,000,00.00 in damages.
You can almost see Marty Feldman, as Igor (pronounced Eye-gore), grabbing the wrong brain for Doctor Frederick Fronkensteen, son of Mary Shelley's Victor Frankenstein.
One of the better exhanges in a Mel Brooks movie....

Igor: "Dr. Frankenstein"
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: "Fronkensteen"
Igor: "You're putting me on."
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: "No, it's pronounced 'Fronkensteen'."
Igor: "Do you also say 'Froaderick'?"
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: No... 'Frederick'."
Igor: "Well, why isn't it 'Froaderick Fronkensteen'?"
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: "It isn't; it's 'Frederick Fronkensteen'."
Igor: "I see."
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: "You must be Igor. [He pronounces it ee-gor]"
Igor: "No, it's pronounced 'eye-gor'."
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: "But they told me it was 'ee-gor'."
Igor: "Well, they were wrong then, weren't they?"

The Guys' Rules

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down We always hear "the rules " from the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, You probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as SEX, CARS, the shotgun formation, or BASKETBALL.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Shamelessly copied email from pjms.

Vote for Paul

Here it is...

http://www.rightsidenews.com/200809302090/editorial/burning-down-the-house-what-caused-our-economic-crisis.html

Trick or Treat

Forwarded by dgj. In my neighborhood the kids aren't lazy about traipsing around for candy. They are up to the age of 16, and no make effort to put on a costume. Just the candy sir.

When You Light It He Glows

I zoomed in on this thing and it did not appear to be PhotoShopped, probably is though.

The candle has the pleasant scent of roasting camel meat.

Moron Clause

Compliments of the Patriot Post.

Thank You

From: comments@whitehouse.gov
Sent: Thursday, October 23, 2008 11:06 AM
To: ###########
Subject:

On behalf of President Bush, thank you for your correspondence.

We appreciate hearing your views and welcome your suggestions.

Due to the large volume of e-mail received, the White House cannot
respond to every message.

Thank you again for taking the time to write.

Being an active citizen, I've sent many letters and faxes to my
Congressional Senators, Congressional Representative, as well as the
President. What I sent to the White House, now I do not remember. From
all I've received at least an acknowledgement, usually through the mail.
President Bush deserves some appreciation for being our defender, and
weathering the constant blame the elite press assigns and the naive
followers accept without thought.

Imus In The Morn

As the Father Cardinal John O'Connor used to say.
On the way to work today playing Don Imus on the radio. He was interviewing John McCain. It is painful for me to listen to this presidential candidate, he seems to struggle for the right words almost as much as George W Bush mangles syllables (in his words sill-AH-bluz). Polish has little effect on me though, both are honorable, decent men who care about leadership above socialistic goals.
Having listened to Imus for close to 40 years, I am a fan, that thinks he made an excellent point from his own personal experience.
When Don Imus made the distasteful remarks about the women's basketball players from Rutgers, Obama was one of the first senators to stand up and call for Imus to be fired. In contrast, when Reverend Wright's inflammatory racial sermons became part of the national news, Obama's reaction was to distance himself and continue to show respect for the religious zealot, no repudiations, no calls for dismissal, no suggestions of punishment. The point was well taken by me, but surely falls on the deaf ears of, supposed, enlightened followers. This is a parallel to the behavior of Muslim Arabs. All actions taken by Israel and the United States are crimes against god and given full support in liberal Anglo media. Whereas the actions of the Arabs in terroristic defense of Islam are given the benefit of the doubt by both their religious leaders and the sycophantic press.
I agree with Don Imus, the candidate Obama is a hypocrite.

Red Sox Loose

Last night the Rex Sox lost game seven of the ALCS, 3 to 1.
Growing up in Connecticut, our family of six was divided down the middle by the Yankees and the Red Sox. Bucky Dent's home run and Lou Pinella's deke at the wall were things of beauty. Later after I went to college and became a fan of GT, Bruce went to Boston at Northeastern. When the Sox drafted Nomar, Bruce and I had long talks about Jason being a better fit. As it turned out, the Red Sox ended up with both. In that time I slowly adopted the Braves as my favorite team and the Sox gained the edge over the Yankees, maybe because of Wholer's t-ball to that turd of a catcher for the Yankees.
Baseball was the thing that Bruce and I always enjoyed talking about, something we were the same on, as fans of the game. Since last October baseball has been hard to watch. The 2007 series seemed like a fitting finish, and I hoped for the same this year, I hoped it would end that way for forever more. The way he would have liked.

I Hope This Isn't True

I plan on looking at this a little more. The narrator appears composed and well researched. There are a number clues that broad leaps of conclusion are made.

Imagine this....

• Obama is elected and then found to have been born in Kenya
• Obama is found to have lost his status as a natuaral born citizen

The case will probably never become a public hearing.

What would be the punishment applied to a sitting president and who would do that, the Supreme Court I presume.

Bourne Ultimatum

Jason Bourne is back, the the third episode of the saga of a detached American spy.
Directed by Paul Greengrass, who also gave us the Bourne Supremacy and United 93. An upcoming release will be the Green Zone, in 2009.
The plot is described as...

Bourne dodges new, superior assassins as he searches for his unknown past while a government agent tries to track him down.

Hummmm, sounds just like all the first two episodes based on Robert Ludlum books, one episode seems to be inseparable from another. There is plenty of and stunt work that not so far fetched as to be impossible. This is not another James Bond movie, but they better be careful.

The participants, at least the ones you'll recognize, were....

• Matt Damon as the hero Jason Bourne
• Julia Stiles as Nicky Parsons, a repeat role. Was sent away to hide because she assisted Bourne's escape, we'll she if she returns in the next installment as the twirling tart.
• David Strathairn as Noah Vosen, manager of CIA black operations. Strathairn plays all his bad guys the same way, see L. A. Confidential.
• Scott Glenn as Ezra Kramer, Vosen's superior.
• Albert Finney as Dr. Albert Hirsch, the scientist who brainwashed the innocent man who became Jason Bourne. A great actor in a stupid role.
• Joan Allen as Pam Landy, a return role from the first sequel .

Score 21 of 50, wait till they show it on network television, this is sure to get hundreds of back to back showings on TNT.

• Character development 0 of 10. Nothing has changed from the first two episodes.
• Writing 5 of 10. Plain, curt.
• Photography 7 of 10. Action shots were unique and kept my attention.
  Acting 6 of 10. Decent cast, and they all already new their characters so well.
• Concept 3 of 10. Soooo over.

Rep. John Lewis

On Saturday our Atlanta congressman inferred that John McCain and Sarah Palin were inciting violence in the manner practiced by George Wallace. All because the candidates have questioned the Obama-Ayers relationship. Representative Lewis said the Republicans are...

sowing the seeds of hatred and division,

Further slathering ....

During another period, in the not-too-distant past, there was a governor of a state of Alabama named George Wallace who also became a presidential candidate. George Wallace never threw a bomb. He never fired a gun, but he created the climate and conditions that encouraged vicious attacks against innocent Americans who were simply trying to exercise their Constitutional rights. Because of this atmosphere of hate, four little girls were killed on Sunday morning when a church was bombed in Birmingham, Alabama.

The suggestion being that Wallace used words to incite violence, and now MacCain and Palin are doing the same.

It seems a silly point to have to make that the candidate Barck Obama half white and the terrorist William Ayers is completely white. Another silly point, if Condoleezza Rice ever mentioned the Birmingham bombings in a political speech, the dimocrats and press would jump on her with both feet, and she knew one of the girls that died in the tragedy. Only dimocrats are allowed to have insight and loss.

I remember the bombing of that Sunday School at 16th Street Baptist Church in Birmingham in 1963. I did not see it happen, but I heard it happen, and I felt it happen, just a few blocks away at my father’s church. It is a sound that I will never forget, that will forever reverberate in my ears. That bomb took the lives of four young girls, including my friend and playmate, Denise McNair. The crime was calculated to suck the hope out of young lives, bury their aspirations. But those fears were not propelled forward, those terrorists failed.

Why is it that Lewis feels compelled to trot out the race card? That is easy really, its about the audience and what inspires them. Much like a revival meeting, Lewis is trying to inspire his dimocrat constituency into a fervor that obviates study of content. Can't blame him for trying, he's just an asshole for throwing it out there. John Lewis votes the party line and offers no creativity in the House of Representatives, his district deserves better.

• For those of you familiar with GOPU, the Davis Cup title is named for the classically inappropriate Rob V. Davis.

The Ten

When you select movies based on a single actor, you are apt to get some that you don't care for. This movie was directed by David Wain, and written by Ken Marino whole also acts in the movie and the director.
The intent of the movie was comedic, a group of short films each inspired by one of the ten commandments.
The commandments are introduced by Paul Rudd, whose wife is played by Famke Janssen. Famke was in Rounders which also included Gretchen Mol. Famke has legs that go all the way up.
I could go on and describe each of the commandments and then detail all the of the actors, but the movie just is not worth the effort.
Do not rent this movie.
No score offered.

.vote.obama.

Last Friday afternoon I received a text message on my phone. The sender was a phone number that I did not recognize. The message's signature caught my attention, so I did a reverse search on the Internet and found that it was from a cell phone in Forest Park Georgia. This message did not come from any person I knew, so I suspected that this was cell phone spam. The message was...

Sorry you didn't win
.vote.obama.

Getting a spam message from some slack jawed teenager kind of irritated me so here is how I responded....

I do not not know you, and by your choice of whom to promote, expect that you choose to ignore that you candidate stands for no more than what he will not be. Make sure that you understand the ramifications of what you wish for.

To which I received a reply that cracked me up...

Huh
.vote.obama.

Looking back I think I over reacted. Some poor kid was probably talking about the Creekside football game. A slack jawed teenager for sure, but the ".vote.obama." may just be an auto signature.
Sorry kid, I shouldn't jumped to the conclusion that you were a socialist loving bastard, just that you are ignorant. You'll come around after you pay taxes for a decade or so.

Jackets for McCain

I already went on and on about seeing the students handing out stickers in the Jackets for Obama post.
Am considering taking my extra labels that and giving them to the Georgia fans planning to vote for the Republican candidate. Then if McCain wins, the Jackets could get some coat-tail fans switching over from the Bulldog nation.
Fat chance.

Tha Tone

Surely the intent of the sticker is to avow that Barack Obama is the one choice for president.
I prefer to think of the sticker as say "Tha Tone" of our campaign is to hang the demon GW Bush around the neck of John McCain until dead. The same John McCain that was the darling of the dimocrat party and its main ally the national press.
Or, maybe "Tha Tone" is the sound that a ACORN make when it hits the ground. If in the national press forest, "Tha Tone" would be silence.
A third possibility is "Tha Tone" is intended to ensnare Sopranos followers. Afterall, the dimocratic party is known to have fixed elections (e.g. Chicago) using organized crime. That Sopranos season ending episode with the dead fish calling "Hey Tone", creeped me out.

Check This Out

Give me a break....don't you always find a "lib" that says "they" were or someone they "knew" was a Republican...but changed over???...LIE...rat bastard commies ...The AJC is nothing but yard trash......I'm thankful that fuel prices got high enough that they quit tossing it in my yard every day!....money well spent!.
Below are some links to what I call "stealing the election". Tossed in one in at the end. I could go on forever. Maybe I ought to take up golf........
http://townhall.com/columnists/AmandaCarpenter/2008/10/09/obama_hired_acorn_for_gotv
http://www.click2houston.com/investigates/17671375/detail.html
http://www.nypost.com/seven/10102008/news/politics/1_voter__72_registrations_132965.htm
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081009/ap_on_el_ge/voter_fraud
http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=D93N5CA80&show_article=1

Will MSM Report on Louis Farrakhan Declaration of Obama as the Messiah?
http://newsbusters.org/blogs/p-j-gladnick/2008/10/09/will-msm-report-lou
is-farrakhan-declaration-obama-messiah

I am trying to get DGJ to submit directly, but we have not gotten past technical difficulties. A true believer in conservative issues, this man must spend hours scouring the internet for the smoking gun that will change the result of our next presidential election.

Explaining Our United States Taxing System With Beer

Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten
comes to $100.
If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something
like this:

The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.
The fifth would pay $1.
The sixth would pay $3.
The seventh would pay $7.
The eighth would pay $12.
The ninth would pay $18.
The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59.

So, that's what they decided to do.

The ten men drank in the bar every day and seemed quite happy with the
arrangement, until one day, the owner threw them a curve. 'Since you are
all such good customers,' he said, 'I'm going to reduce the cost of your
daily beers by $20 . Drinks for the ten now cost just $80.'

The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes so the
first four men were unaffected. They would still drink for free. But
what about the other six men - the paying customers? How could they
divide the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his 'fair share?'
They realized that $20 divided by six is $3.33. But if they subtracted
that from everybody's share, then the fifth man and the sixth man would
each end up being paid to drink his beer. So, the bar owner suggested
that it would be fair to reduce each man's bill by roughly the same
amount, and he proceeded to work out the amounts each should pay.

And so:

The fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% savings).
The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3 (33% savings).
The seventh now pay $5 instead of $7 (28% savings).
The eighth now paid $9 instead of $12 (25% savings).
The ninth now paid $14 instead of $18 (22% savings).
The tenth now paid $49 instead of $59 (16% savings).

Each of the six was better off than before and the first four continued
to drink for free, but once outside the restaurant, the men began to
compare their savings.
"I only got a dollar out of the $20," declared the sixth man. He pointed
to the tenth man, "but he got $10!"
"Yeah, that's right" exclaimed the fifth man. "I only saved a dollar,
too. It's unfair that he got TEN times more than I!"
"That's true!!" shouted the seventh man. "Why should he get $10 back
when I got only two? The wealthy get all the breaks!"
"Wait a minute," yelled the first four men in unison. "We didn't get
anything at all. The system exploits the poor!"

The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up.

The next night the tenth man didn't show up for drinks, so the nine sat
down and had beers without him. But when it came time to pay the bill,
they discovered something very important....they didn't have enough
money between all of them for even half of the bill!

And that, boys and girls, journalists and college professors, is how our
tax system works. The people who pay the highest taxes get the most
benefit from a tax reduction. Tax them too much, attack them for being
wealthy, and they just may not show up anymore. In fact, they might
start drinking overseas where the atmosphere is somewhat friendlier.

David R. Kamerschen, Ph.D.
Professor of Economics
University of Georgia

Thanks to dgj_ga for forwarding this lesson that resembles the plot of
Atlas Shrugged.
If the lesson is indeed written by a UGA professor, sir, please accept
my bewildered appreciation.

Jackets for Obama

Walking to the Duke game on Saturday I walked over to the young man handing out these stickers and stuck out my hand. Now that I think of it, like a good dimocrat. The clean cut youngster happy to have a supporter show interest. The popularity of the stickers was low and the youngster was mostly alone. At the bottom of the hill a McCain supporter was handing out "Jackets for McCain" stickers, this I put out my hand for again and got 4. This young man was busy with many requests.

It is not surprising that the students at an engineering school would be conservative leaning. Last year, during the primaries, there were many supporters of Ron Paul, who as we all know is a Republican with Libertarian beliefs. These students are focused on careers in defined fields of study and have pragmatic views on the role of government in the economy. In terms of understanding government these engineering student are more mature in their preferences, having arrived at a philosophy that often takes other citizens years in the professional work force to achieve.

Of course there are balancing factors favoring students from liberal arts schools, namely in socialization skills. At 48 I still haven't mastered either, but who gives a shit.

The walk to the game was worth it, Tech manhandled Duke. That Duke gets beaten by nearly all D1 schools in football is proper, their dominance in basketball is more than they deserve.

Politics & Journalists

Katie Couric of CBS news was seated next to Little Johnny on the plane when Couric turned to the boy and said, "Let's talk, I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passengers.
Little Johnny, who had just opened his book, closed it slowly, and said to Couric , "What would you like to discuss?"
"Oh, I don't know" said Couric , "How about ? Should we elect McCain as president or Obama?"
"OK" said Little Johnny, "That could be an interesting topic but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow and a deer all eat grass. The same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out flat pattys, and a horse excretes clumps of dried grass. Why do you think that is?"
"Jeez" said Couric, "I have no idea."
"Well then" said Little Johnny, How is it you feel qualified to discuss who should run this country when you don't know shit?"

25?

The bride sent me a bunch of these today.
Editors really should read their headlines.

The ACORN Candidate

A president often belittled in the press, not unlike G.H. or G. W. Bush had this to say about communism....

"How do you tell a Communist? Well, it's someone who reads Marx and Lenin. And how do you tell an anti-Communist? It's someone who understands Marx and Lenin."

Ronald Reagan

This is an important point, because the community organizer running that is running for president, has by is affiliations to ACORN and likewise, has proven his preference for socialism. Socialism like communism is system that leads to depressed productivity, increased taxation, increased government regulation and a constriction of personal rights. The relevance of the quote is that proponents of these philosophies concentrate on the sales pitch to the constituents that have their hands out, there is little care or commitment to how these promises are delivered. Tax increases on capital gains will dampen investment. Forcing insurance companies to cover increases in cost without conveyance to the customers will bankrupt those companies much the way Barney Frank's crowd cajoled and coerced the banks into making sub-prime loans. Mandatory civil service will restrict the freedom of citizens. The examples are many.

Register to Vote

Today, a man that I know told me that he just registered to vote.
This man has always lived in the Georgia, so at age of 50 he has never voted in a government election. Thirty years ago when I became eligible to vote in an off election year, I registered to vote so that I could participate in a town election. It is inconceivable to me that one would not make themselves eligible.
The statement drew my obvious question as to why he did register.
The answer: To vote against Barack Obama.
This was the first time that I've experienced in the state of Georgia, what might be described as the inception of a conservative-racist backlash voter registration drive. The most common observation I've had, for years, and on dozens of occasions, was women recruiting teenagers, blacks and Hispanics to vote, the presumption being that they would vote the democratic ticket. Just last weekend as I walked into Walmart, there was a registration drive going on. The ladies made no attempt to talk with me, probably because of my age, but have no doubt that voter registration drives are better described as "democratic voter registration".
Why do think the ACLU and democrat politicians fight against voters being required to submit identification? Because their influence within the realm of experienced voters is in constant decline. They need to either cheat to maintain equal footing or recruit naive newcomers.
The democrats project themselves as the protector of the unfortunate and enemy of those who have succeeded financially. This irritates people that work and pay taxes, these people who contribute more to the business of both the country and government are portrayed as if they are undeserving of comfort or possession.

Picture was shamelessly stolen from the Grouchy Old Cripple.

Crack Found In Man's Buttocks

News Alert! The newspaper should be searching for editors that survey titles for secondary meanings.

It is probably a good thing that Peirre's customers are messed up from the product. Consider the stench of burning something that had been stuck up an ass.